January 21, 2019

Imagine if we talked to everyone like they worked at a nonprofit

Just a little taste of the nonprofit experience.

2 min read

Nonprofit work is great, but we do deal with all sorts of headaches. But many of our friends and families and even board members may have never worked at a nonprofit before, which means it’s hard sometimes for them to understand what we go through. Here is what it might be like for other professionals if they got the nonprofit treatment.

1. “Before I buy this cheese-and-potato piroshky, what is your plan to sustain your business without relying so much on customers like me?”

2. “Thank you for this taxi ride. I am a reimbursement-based customer. Please send in these forms and you will be paid in 4 to 6 months.”

3. “Good morning, I am your new Chief Surgeon. No I am not a doctor, but I did run a successful tech company for 32 years.”

4. “I heard that you are trying to land a shuttle on Mars. I’d like to invest $500. I will need quarterly reports.”

Nonprofit work is great, but we do deal with all sorts of headaches.

Nonprofit work is great, but we do deal with all sorts of headaches.

5. “What do you mean you won’t accept my donation of 8 pallets of 1967-era math textbooks? What kind of accounting firm is this?!”

6. “Your shoes are really nice for a landscape architect! I guess maybe you don’t need me to pay for your design services, haw haw!”

7. “Why are there so many cafes all over the city competing with one another? Can’t you all just merge into one giant cafe?”

Related article: Nonprofit funding | Buying a cake and restricting it too

8. “I love this program. What do you call it, “seventh grade”? How do you plan to scale it?”

9. “I don’t benefit at all when you vaccinate people against various diseases, so I have every right to scrutinize you and your work!”

10. “What you should do is open up the right pulmonary artery and connect it to the aortic semilunar valve. No, I’ve never done heart surgery, but I have served on the board of various hospitals for several years.

11. “Our family is not interested in paying for the salaries of the engineers and technicians who maintain and control traffic lights. We only want our taxes to pay for the traffic lights themselves. Since the city budget indicates a significant portion is going to salaries, we will not be paying our taxes this year.”

Read the complete list on NonprofitAF here

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Vu Le Profile
Vu Le

Vu Le (“voo lay”) is a writer, speaker, vegan, Pisces, and Executive Director, Rainier Valley Corps, a nonprofit in Seattle that promotes social justice by developing leaders of colour, strengthening organisations led by communities of color, and fostering collaboration between diverse communities. Check out his other posts at Nonprofit AF.