1
Expectation: Waking up to chirping birds, surrounded by nature and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee.
Reality: Waking up to my blaring alarm because breakfast is at 7 so that we can begin the day ‘bright and early’. There is no coffee.
2
Expectation: Two days of break from work without losing out on my precious leave days.
Reality: Two days of sessions with reflections on the year gone by, what went well, what didn’t go well, what we must do differently going forward, what is synergy, what is vision, what am I, what are you.
3
Expectation: Getting to know my colleagues, maybe finding a shoulder to cry on the next time something goes horribly wrong at work (an event 3–5 business days away at best).
Reality: Screaming at those same colleagues for not being able to decode any of my drawings during a game of Pictionary and blaming them for our team losing. Work friendships are overrated.
4
Expectation: An open bar to drink my troubles away.
Reality: People getting a bit too honest after having a drink too many—“Why did you steal the credit when I did all the work on the presentation, Cincy?”
5
Expectation: Returning all rejuvenated, ready to take on a new challenge at work.
Reality: Calling in sick the day after the retreat.
