1. The selective texter
Has the remarkable ability to ignore work texts while sending the most motivational forwards on the WhatsApp group chat.
2. The trickster
Calls you randomly to ask for ‘help’ and then, before you know it, you’ve done their work for them.
3. The astro-not
Has circled back to you so often that they are now, in fact, orbiting you.
4. The most adequately enthusiastic
Fakes enthusiasm for the virtual team retreat but is mysteriously ‘sick’ on the day of.
5. The inspo-bro
Cannot stop talking about how they feel ‘grounded and inspired’ because they went on *one* field visit.
6. The hands-it-down
Has mastered the art of downward delegating their work in the name of ‘professional growth and development’.
7. The Zoom, Zoom, Zoomer
Sets up back-to-back calls to discuss work so they don’t actually have to do it.
8. The email graveyard
With them, lie 3,476 unopened emails, never to be seen ever again.
9. The energiser bunny
Is so excited to be ‘making a difference’ that they eat impact for breakfast.
10. The haven’t heard from them Yet-i
Whenever you need them, they’re nowhere to be found. Do they even work here?
11. The Chief-of-Good Times
Spends every waking hour convincing you that they’re ‘not a regular boss, but a cool boss.’
12. The field visit butterfly
Is never in office because they’re always flitting from one field visit to the next.
13. The adaptor
Loves to plug in their opinions, especially when it’s not wanted.
14. The energy vampire
You need a minimum 30-minute nap after every conversation with them.
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to actual colleagues, at your current workplace or last, is purely coincidental.
Inspired by @awardsforgoodboys.
